A "brief candle"

So, I have been duped...embarassed...disappointed... I am one of the 4574 "victims"! This number really "衰" enough, because it can't even win a 4D on the next day.

Friday night, I was going back from my part-time job and coincidentally i met up with Choo. She told me that usm's shortlisted result had been released...and she are shortlisted.

What a shock to me! Finally, it came!!!

I went back home and had a check through its official website. OMG, I just couldn't believe it, I got my first choice, which was not under my expectation. Was I dreaming? [ In fact, I am really dreaming of that "impossible"... BUT it doesn't mean that I ain't deserve to get it, right?].

I didn't accept on the spot due to the place of study in Kubang Kerian, Kelantan where I doubt to...
I gave myself a night to ponder.... due date is 5pm of Sunday.

Next, all the thing happened was just like I had been a moron for a day.

Saturday morning, I was in great busy. I sought for many views, opinions and comments from the seniors of usm...via website and msn. I even made abundance of calls to lots of anonymous just to consult them about the study environment there... As I flash back the stuff I had done for 3 days ago, I seemed like an arrant fool.. Was I? Haha. Forget about it....

As I was going to make up decision , someone phoned me in anxiety. She said all in the sudden she couldn't log in successfully.

" What's going wrong?",

"Is there any connection error?",

"Or my computer got any problem?"....

$*&^_^*$#@*&*%%^#

Initially, I was not frantic in worry. I assumed that was a "small matter". Who knows they have any technical problems so our names have been mistakenly eliminated. I was naively thinking about that.

。。。。。。

"Dukacitanya, anda.....tidak dalam senarai nama..."
Haha, they have dropped me a bombshell too.
Although have been tried up for so many times, still to no avail. Same sentence appeared on the screen..
Come on, USM you can't be kidding me... How could you treat me like that. They are really "buruk siku". Give us then tarik balik pula.

I tried to show my great composure in this case..... but it didn't mean that I AM NOT CARE whether I can enter USM or not.
[I mean I have mentioned that I rather like being in KL than Kelantan. However, if the course is good enough, I think I don't have any solid reason to decline it right]

Now, the most and the only important proof we possess is the offer letter, black and white stated that I am shortlisted to study the mentioned course... Planning of going to Penang by tomorrow.

On the next Sunday morning, many people in QuanSheng said they had rushed to the USM to report about the so-called "technical problem". According to the officers there, the shortlisted person is just as the same in the website. If u are failed means that it is the final decision. No more amend.
In the afternoon time, new name list was announced via website. The authority apologized profusely for the mistakes they had done. Apparently, they imputed the dispute as the technical problems by jumbling up the eliminated person with the shortlisted one. This is ridiculous! Or they are trying to conceal something?
How can they ever make amends after duping us like that.

Raising us to the peak, then suddenly pushing us down the cliff (without being given any parachute).

On Monday, things have been gone as national news.
“理大摆乌龙” was the many papers' cover story...
After the incident, they are publicly disgraced and discredited as an APEX.

Mohe keeps reassuring us that they will make sure thses 4000++ students who are qualified be granted a seat in other universities. Maybe this is just an act of pacifying the "victims".

In the present time, I am just waiting for the good news from UPU, my only hope. Yea... very soon from now...
The next time as if any of you get the offer online, just hold it by yourself. Wait until you step into the land of that place, register your name then only you call all your friends and relatives, telling them you are in U now!
Haha... just for the sake of not been embarassed again.

Today is my day

Every year, ever since I was studying in secondary school, my very own day would most probably crash up with my mid-term exams, bar none.

So, I barely had a celebration on it. "Study hardly" was my motto to get through the 0000 time on 15th of May. My 'fake' hand phone alerted me each time I wanted to concentrate on my studies. This was such a distraction to me as I was chasing after the time - doing the heil mary. However, I felt the warmest greetings and regards from my friends, especially those who were brainstorming over the night just like me. On the next day, it would be my nervous plus excitement day in answering the papers...

Even though, friends of my sometimes would have had a little and simple celebration for me after the exams, I felt it was just contented to me. I didn't demand more than that.

I really meant it because among my family members, we seldom have all this kind of stuff. My family concept is that birthday ain't need to boast about, it's just a trivial day. Thus, my mum's and dad's birthday, mother's or father's day aren't my family's tradition to have big fun on it, even if I got an intention to do something about it. To them, gratefulness from their children is just ample as the greatest gift...

I am not a person who have a tendency to show up how I feel at once.

Today, My life in this world began exactly 20 years ago!!!
It dawned on me that tonight was the first time all the years that a gang of peers had held me a very 'standard' and 'enjoyable' party. I was astonised. For the first time, it made me felt like "I can also be a lime light".

Haha... my adorable friends... don't ever chuckle at my confessions. =P

It was a special day in the year, yet at the same time it was an absolutely ordinary day....

This year, a year of determining the future route. After that, we might be respectively going through our brand new journey, in starting the dawn of the new life for the sake to succeed in the coming days....

"An abiding friendship" is the only pharse that we could cast to each other as to wish that we wouldn't forget the days we had been going through together...

Arguments, offences, cold-wars, hapiness, exicitement, struggles, compromises.... all these blended and complicated feelings that we had possessed previously have become past tenses...

From now on, let's envisage our future bravely...... Yeah~~~

Let others be glorious

Here, a simple way to keep away the trifles from overtaking your life which I have learned...

*** ~ ***

Our need for excessive attention is that ego-centered part of us that says, "Look at me. I'm special. My story is more interesting than yours." It's that voice inside of us that may not come right out and say it, but that wants to believe that "my accomplishments are slightly more important than yours."

The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected, considered special, often at the expense of someone else. It's the part of us that interrupts someone else's story, or impatiently waits his turn to speak to that he can bring the conversation and attention back to himself.

To varying degrees, most of us engage in this habit, much to our own detriment!

When you immediately five in and bring the conversation back toward you, you can subtly minimize the joy that person has in sharing, and in doing so, create distance between yourself and others.

*** ~ ***

The next time someone tells you a story or shares an accomplishment with you, notice your tendency to say something about yourself in response.

Although it's a difficult habit to break, it's not only enjoyable but actually peaceful to have the confidence to be able to surrender your need for attention and instead share in the joy of someone else's glory.

Rather than jumping right in and saying, "once I did the same thing" or "Guess what I did today." bite your tongue and notice what happens. Just say, "that's wonderful," or "Please tell me more," and leave it at that. The person you are speaking to will have so much more fun and, because you are so much more "present", because you are listening so carefully, s/he won't feel more relaxed around you, making him or her more confident as well as more interesting.

You too will feel more relaxed because you won't be on the edge of your seat, waiting your turn to be glorious too.

Ironically when you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting others to have it.

***~ ***

From the excerpt of Richard Carlson's DSTSS.

So, what are your view now...? be a cynosure or be "meek"? you choose one...

Malapropism

So, I have become one of the Miss Malaprops these days... HAHA
And ironically, thanks for giving me an 'honour' chance to be crown. XD

Actually, I didn't get to know this word until I have read it in a book entitled Do You Wear Suspender? The Wordy Tales of Eh Poh Nim by Lydia Teh.
In the book, there are lots of idioms that I had never read and heard before. The author helps the readers to learn new vocab and idioms by spinning yarns in the most interesting ways. It was quite fun even though I had only read a few pages of this book by sheer chance. She uses Miss Eh Poh Nim as her character in the book who like to speak idiomatic English.

If you are interested, you can
Check out the review of the book here and also here.

Why appeal?

I should have known this outcome...


Yesterday, I finally received my appeal letter from mpm after have been waiting anxiously for 4 days.
There is zero changes to my result. And my dad's 100 ringgit have just gone like throwing into the sea water. The content of the letter is briefly stated: " Your result is betul, tepat dan adil. Keputusan ini adalah muktamd" That's all...fullstop.
What an eyesore to me of that sentence ;3


So what? I happened to appeal for my result as I am not contented with mine. 50 ringgit per paper. I am willing to pay them to remark my papers. But eventually it seemed like to no avail. I doubt their competence as markers. Why there is no transparency in the examination board. Show me the proof! Don't burn my papers yet. I want to have a look at my mistakes that I have done in red ink on my papers. [ha ha, just grumbling]


Frankly to say, on the other day I was appalled at the prospect of having my slip in my hands.
Just couldn't believe the alphabets that appeared before my eyes.
Oh my! Everyone has their own targets in their hearts. When you couldn't hit yours, you would be definitely disappointed. That's what have happened to me.


Sometimes,
Your usual performance in the class isn't equivalent to your measurement in the examination hall.


Ya ya, just blame myself for not trying my best that time.
Lazy is the culprit.
Procrastination is the accomplice.
That's right...


OK, fine.
Back to the present time, I shall feel gratitude for embracing all this.
As the sayings goes:
Every cloud has a silver lining.