All changed, only this

All changed for the past twenty-four years, only this has not changed - the fact that my feet's condition still remain the same. I went to see doctor yesterday after convinced by my mum to have another try, to see if the doctor has the new prescription. 100 bucks went into another 2 new medicine for topical application, hoping to give me another miracle.
I'm tired of talking this to people, after all people just don't give a shit. I always tell myself: as long as people don't notice it or ironically blow on it, I will live like other normal girl. You have no idea how much it affects me, and how easy my life would be without this parasite~ I'm not frustrated with this irritation anymore, years after years, and I was numbed by this recurring illness. How ironic of this parasitism~ Beneath my nonchalance, despair always stirs in my heart at night, questioning the God, why I deserve this. I was once soothed by the doctor, after I entered the Uni, everything gonna be alright... Now these so-called the day I will alright have come the end, and I am disappointed again...

Well, I guess it is just another trial that I have to bear until, until one day... ...