Worthy by Jacob Banks

Suits Season 3 Episode 9 "Bad Faith"
Scene description: Rachel told Mike she got into Stanford

All changed, only this

All changed for the past twenty-four years, only this has not changed - the fact that my feet's condition still remain the same. I went to see doctor yesterday after convinced by my mum to have another try, to see if the doctor has the new prescription. 100 bucks went into another 2 new medicine for topical application, hoping to give me another miracle.
I'm tired of talking this to people, after all people just don't give a shit. I always tell myself: as long as people don't notice it or ironically blow on it, I will live like other normal girl. You have no idea how much it affects me, and how easy my life would be without this parasite~ I'm not frustrated with this irritation anymore, years after years, and I was numbed by this recurring illness. How ironic of this parasitism~ Beneath my nonchalance, despair always stirs in my heart at night, questioning the God, why I deserve this. I was once soothed by the doctor, after I entered the Uni, everything gonna be alright... Now these so-called the day I will alright have come the end, and I am disappointed again...

Well, I guess it is just another trial that I have to bear until, until one day... ...

A disheartening day

"Many of you scored, only few of you not. Congratulations for those who did well; but for those who didn't, no need to feel disheartened... as you still have chance to score at other parts."

Discouraging figure when I gazed at the page. Double disheartening news when my Prof reiterated the uploaded online-results.
Thought of not doing well, but wouldn't expect to be that "worse". "Worst" feeling seeping in my veins when friends did so well, but I didn't. I must say just too well!! Feel terrible when I just magnified the the matter.
Sense of jealous? I had but major problem was at me. How to say (self-accusing)?
I misunderstood the questions, I did not interpret the questions well enough, I took for granted my answers was good enough, I thought too much, I did not ask... >.<

I seldom talk about my result here. Was writing this as a pep talk for me before having another test soon... two weeks later from now.
Recharging, recharging my confidence... Hard work may not conquer all, but I must refresh my mind, trying to complete all the procrastinated work as well as trying to get this fading from my sight and mind.

Help or not to help

I don't usually do this.
I don't like to blow my own trumpet after doing good deeds.
However, when you treat people good, you act good to people, these people will be greedier and go too far away, farther than you could imagine.

That's made me vacillated between mercy and selfish.

and being mercy, I won't lose anything for helping, people may just take you for granted. You take a deep breath, everything will be okay than ever because you do something great this time.

and being selfish, I won't lose anything too, it may just on my conscience. I rethink the action, and I feel shame for being that person.

Everyone has his/her own limit.
Sometimes we could help; sometimes we couldn't;
Sometimes we do want to help; sometimes we don't.
Sometimes we choose to help, sometimes we choose not to.

Option is all up to you. No right or wrong.
Friends help you, you help friends back.
I did not owe anybody, so do you.
I owe my family only.

Thought =.=

Absence makes the heart grows ponder

I experience it.....

Give something off my chest

Last time, she seldom greets me, I tend to greet her.

Now, she dislikes or lazy to greet me.

So, I do the same way around – LAZY to greet her. Not “Hai” or “Hello” word between both of us…

It is an aftermath of “being frank”.

The other day, I was coming back from co-cu at 11pm, washing my sportswear and hanging it at my room just as usual. Then all of the sudden she came back and confronted me, requesting me (politely) to dry my clothes at pantry with reason that she doesn’t like the humidity of the room… I was like =.=”’ You also hang your clothes at room LAAAAAA. Why you can and I can’t?

OIC, the answer is mine are damper than yours right, so you dislike it. Wei, I didn’t let the water dripping from my clothes lih.
And what’s wrong with the humidity lih? I didn’t feel any humid air inside wor, Jen! My clothes won’t affect much the humidity LAL. Plus you are still young, doesn’t have 风湿病.

All these time, I hang my damp clothes at room; you step your wet toilet sandals into room, you didn’t say a word and I didn’t grouse any. Why now only you request me to do that? And in what position you are asking me to do that?

I was indeed reluctant to agree with her. But what should I say other than say OK wor. ( Alright, I have already promised to follow her whim from now onwards. End of arguement! )

Just to tell you a fact that all my course mates and their roommates hang their clothes at room as the pantry is the “authorized place” for Malays to hang their clothes. So, Chinese will rather choose to hang at their room…. One more thing, they don't step their shoes into the room one.

Thus, after she gave out her discontent to me, I also told her candidly that I dislike her to step over my boundary with her worn + unhygienic sandals. I couldn't believe it, I gave it off my chest eventually after bearing it for nearly 3 months.

(Why I mentioned boundary? This is because I have placed a clothes hamper at the middle of room. so to indicate her not to tread over my line. But she seemed to didn't get it at all.... )

However, she retorted me that she has the same habit at her house. SWEAT, here is not your house lih? I interupted her further excuse immeadiately. Coz I was damn hot that time.

Wth....How come I got this kind of peculiar roommate de li?...............

I have to bear her for another semester.....Tell me how to bear her?

Or somebody want to exchange roommate with me?